Up Mine, and Up Yours Too!
People frequently ask me how long it took me to be able to handle the large toys I play with, and how they can accomplish the same thing. Well, I can remember playing with my butt as far back as I can remember, but I didn’t have access to toys like dildos and vibrators until I was an adult. And I really only started playing with truly huge toys in my 40’s.
I usually play with some kind of toy about every other day; sometimes more frequently, sometimes less. It took me about a year to work up to toys that were 12″ long and 3″ thick (but not always at the same time!). I probably could have done it faster, but I wasn’t in a big hurry or anything. Plus, it took a while to find a bigger toy each time I wanted to move up a size. There weren’t nearly as many big toys available back then! As some of you know, most stores don’t stock the monster toys that we prefer! It took me another six months to get to deeper (16″+) and thicker (3 1/2″+) toys, and I’m still working on expanding my horizons.
Before we get into the details, here are some general comments.
My experience with toys is all with anal play, of course, but I expect that many of the considerations for using big toys in your pussy would be much the same.
Clean out before playing. For casual play, I use an enema bulb (you should be able to get one at any drugstore) and rinse out a couple of times. For longer or deeper play, refer to B’s Advice on Cleaning Out for an excellent discussion on this subject.
Always use lots of lubricant. Your colon does not produce nearly as much natural lubricant as a vagina. In fact, one of its main functions is to absorb water. So, use lots of lube, and reapply frequently!
Never put anything all the way into your ass! Always leave yourself something to hold onto. If you insert an object all the way into your rectum, it could slip up and lodge against your pelvic bones. This can happen even if there is a string or cord attached to the object! I actually had something slip up and get stuck once. Fortunately, Star had recently started fisting me, and she was able to reach in and get it out. But, I might not have been so lucky, and could have ended up in the emergency room. So be careful, or you might end up on the Rectal Foreign Bodies page, or in a book like “Stuck Up!: 100 Objects Inserted and Ingested in Places They Shouldn’t Be“.
Doesn’t it hurt?
Well, yes, it can. When I move up to a larger size toy, I do experience a bit of pain if I go a too fast. If I feel any pain, I stop for a while, back off, and try again in a minute or so. If it continues to hurt, I stop altogether for a day or two. It can also hurt a bit if I haven’t been playing with really big toys for a long while, and need to stretch out again.
It’s also not too unusual to see a little bit of pink, indicating some minor abrasion to the walls of the colon. If I see this I stop for the day, and maybe rest for another day. On a few occasions, I have seen some bright red blood, but it has always stopped within a minute or so. Again, I stop immediately if this happens.
But once I get past the initial pain of stretching to accommodate a new toy, I don’t really have any pain or discomfort. In fact, it feels pretty damned good. Which, after all, is the main reason I play with big toys in the first place!
Having said all this: when you are playing with vibrators and dildos, especially big ones (not to mention fists, vegetables, or other bizarre items!), you are introducing a foreign object into your body. It is an extreme activity, and there is some risk involved. If you experience any extreme pain or bleeding that does not stop, or if you “lose” a toy or other object, get to the hospital right away and tell them exactly what happened! I worked in a hospital for a number of years, and believe me, there’s nothing they haven’t seen or heard. This is not the time to be embarrassed. Your concern should be to find out what’s wrong and fix it, and that will be their concern at the hospital as well!
The Way In
If this is your first experience with anal play, definitely start out small. Get a slim vibrator or dildo; there are a number of models available that are 1″ or less in diameter, some of them specifically designed for anal insertion. If you don’t want to make an investment in toys before you know you are going to like this kind of activity, you can start out with a finger … yours, or your partner’s if you have someone to help you explore.
The gateway to anal pleasure is your anus (commonly referred to as your asshole, and a host of other colorful terms). The anus is a ring of muscle that keeps your rectum closed. One of the main things to keep in mind here, is that under normal conditions, you anus is under your voluntary control. Your parents spent a long time teaching you to control it. You learned to keep it closed, and you can learn to open it again. It can be trained for strength and flexibility like most of the other muscles in your body.
So you’ve got your lube, and you’ve got your toy. It’s time to get comfortable and have some fun. You can use any position that works for you: on your back with your feet up; laying on your side; on your hands and knees; squatting; even standing up with the dildo stuck to the wall … try various things and see what is best for you. One place you might not think of is on the stairs. You can get some clearance under your butt, and still have somewhere to rest your feet, or you can prop one foot against the wall or banister. We have a small ledge in front of our bathtub that works for this position too. Once you are adept at anal insertion, try some of the other positions again, you will find that each one has its unique aspects of depth and angle of penetration.
Now lubricate your toy well, and apply some lube to your butt as well. Put the tip of the toy against your anus and press firmly, but gently. If you are just starting out, you will most likely encounter some resistance. If you’re using a vibrator, turn it on low and let it buzz against your asshole. If you’re trying a dildo, finger, or some other object, try wiggling it a little, or put a vibrator against the base. Above all, try to relax. Take deep, slow breaths. Don’t force it, let the toy find its way in. Some people find that closing their eyes helps. I like to sit in front of a mirror and watch the toy go in, that is very erotic for me. Sometimes trying to visualize yourself opening up and drawing the toy in helps. Rotating the toy slowly, or using a slight in-and-out motion may also help. Try pushing out with your pelvic muscles, as if you were trying to take a dump; then pulling back, like you were trying to hold it in. Experiment with different angles and degrees of pressure.
At some point, your anus will relax and open a bit, and the toy will start to slip in. When this happens, keep the gentle pressure on the toy, and go slow! Keep breathing deeply and let your toy slide in as far as it will comfortably go; it may only be an inch or less. You may feel a sharp pain at this point. Your butt is confused, and it’s telling you that something is going in the “wrong way”. Pull the toy back slightly and hold it in place if you can. Take deep breaths and wait for the pain to subside. You may need to pull the toy out completely and rest. (This would be a good time to add more lubricant!)
When you feel comfortable again, try inserting your toy again. You may not want to try to go any deeper the first time. Slide the toy in and out at the depth you have achieved, get used to the feeling of having something inside you, and congratulate yourself on your accomplishment! The next time you play, you will probably find it much easier to get started and get the toy into your anus. Try to go a little deeper, even if it’s only a quarter of an inch.
Moving On Up
Assuming that you have discovered that you do indeed like anal play, you may find that you want to move up to bigger and bigger toys. Once you get “through the door”, you will probably find that you will be able to get to six inches or so pretty quickly. When you have accomplished this, try moving up to a slightly thicker toy. If your current toy is one inch in diameter, look for one that is an inch and a quarter. We always recommend that you go up a quarter inch in diameter (thickness) at a time. Half an inch may not look like that mucn on a ruler, but the total area going into your ass is a lot to take on all at once!
If you can find a toy that tapers, getting larger towards the base, you can use it for gradual stretching; check into buttplugs, many of them are tapered nicely and suit this purpose well. One very nice toy for stretching is the Brad Stone “signature” dildo. It starts out at about 1.5″ at the head, and expands to just under 2.5″ at the base. If you master that one, the Ken Ryker dildo is about 1.75″ at the tip, and about 2.75″ at the base. Both of these are great for gradual expansion exercises. They are also both about 11″ long (about 9.5″ insertable), so they are good for depth training too.
Continue using the same techniques for larger toys that worked for you getting past your butthole at first. They key points are: take your time; relax; use plenty of lube; and expand your capabilities gradually. And remember, the main idea here is to have fun! We aren’t going for an Olympic medal here. (Unfortunately, the “Dildo Jump” has not yet been accepted as an Olympic event.) Also, everyone has different limits. If you find that you can’t get past a 6″ long 1″ thick toy, just stay there and have a good time!
The Second Ring
You may find that you can take toys seven or eight inches deep pretty easily. At some point, you will reach another obstacle … the “second sphincter”, or “second ring”. At the top of your rectum, there is somthing that will feel like another ring of muscle. Yep, another door that you have to train to open. Pretty much the same techniques apply here as getting into your butt in the first place.
What you have encountered is not really a ring of muscle like the anus. It’s actually a sharp bend in the colon, the transition between the rectum and the sigmoid colon. Take a look at this picture to see where you are on the road to deep penetration. What you’ve run into is the “sigmoid flexure”.
So you can’t just plow straight ahead. You have to go a bit slower and find the right angle. I recommend getting a double-ended dildo at this point, something 12″ or longer and the smallest diameter you can find. Double dongs tend to be more flexible than standard dick-shaped dildos, so you will find it easier to follow the path of least resistance.
The method for getting past the sigmoid flexure is about the same as for getting through your anus. Take is slow and easy, starting with a small diameter toy, and you should make it through. Once you can comfortably get past the second ring, you can start to move up to thicker toys at more depth. What you are actually doing here is rearranging your colon. You’re opening up that curve and straightening it out. I was having a colonoscopy once, and the doctor commented that I had an “unusually straight colon”. He speculated that it must be because I’m so tall. I decided not to offer my own opinion on that.
Keep in mind that the deeper you play, the more careful you have to be. There are lots of twists and turns in the intestine, it gets more fragile as you go deeper, and you are closer to a lot more internal organs. When you get past 12″ or so, you need to play very slowly and carefully! You can actually bruise your colon or other organs. If you feel a dull pain when playing deep, this may have happened. Stop playing immediately! And take a couple of weeks off to let your system recover. Yes, it can take that long! If the pain persists, go to the hospital right away.
If you tear the colon, bacteria from the intestings can enter your bloodstream, which will most likely result in peritonitis. This is an extremely serious condition, and can be fatal if not treated immediately. I can’t stress this enough: this is not the time to be shy or embarassed! Get to the hospital as quickly as possible, tell them exactly what happened, and let them take care of it. It’s better to be embarassed and alive than the alternative.
That’s all I have to say about that . . .
Well, what more can I tell you? That’s how I learned to play with big toys. The basic techniques are pretty simple. There are a number of books and online resources available where you can learn more. There’s a lot more information out there than when I started! I encourage you to do more research, check the facts, and find out what works best for you.
Good luck, and have fun!