Always Play Safe!

Jul 16, 2013 by

Always Play Safe!

Headline: Sad Man's Penis Trapped in Sex Toy, Takes Buzzsaw Two Hours to Free It

The full story is below. And the moral of the story is: If you get stuck in something, or get something stuck to you, get to the hospital immediately! And tell the doctors exactly what happened. This is not a time to be embarrassed, you can worry about that later. I've worked in an Emergency Room, and believe me, the people there have seen everything, and they will be completely professional. Accidents will happen, and the most important thing is to get the situation taken care of as quickly as possible.

Kyle Wagner on Gizmodo


Earlier this week, the fire department in Ibiza, Spain, were called to the local hospital to assist with a medical emergency. A man had trapped his penis and testicles in "armour plating." Armour plating is a sex toy. The firemen were required because they were the only ones with a big enough saw to get it off.

The buzzsaw penis rescue procedure to remove the toy—a metal cylinder about 15cm (~6 inches) in diamater—took over two hours, and the firemen had to change out the rotating blade and recharge the saw before they were done. The penis became more "swollen" throughout the procedure, likely due to restricted blood flow that could cause permanent nerve damage, but possibly because danger is kind of sexy. Eventually the patient, a 51-year-old German tourist, had to be put under general anesthesia, because of discomfort, and also because he was complaining constantly in obvious concern about the literal sparks flying from his crotch as burly (assumption, but we hope) firefighters took a buzzsaw to his penis.

He was held in the hospital overnight, and released Thursday with a clean bill of health. The fire department has been called to remove sex toys from penises before, which is itself surprising until you remember how much men enjoy inserting their penises into things, but "never one this big". So our German friend has that going for him at least?

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