Grey Is a Certified Expert!

Jun 3, 2012 by

Grey Is a Certified Expert!

Back in April I got a phone call from someone who identified himself as a reporter for the Gawker web magazine. He was trying to find information on the legendary "Goatse", aka Kirk Johnson. We talked for about 20 minutes, and I was so involved in the conversation that I forgot to ask him how he found me!

Anyway, here's the section with yours truly in it, followed by a link to the entire article. Enjoy!

When I began looking into Goatse's identity, I depended on the longtime rumors that the men's similar frame and matching moles all pointed toward Johnson. I couldn't be sure, though, so I consulted an expert: A man who calls himself Grey. He's the proprietor of the Big Sex Toy Store, an online erotic novelty shop specializing in extreme penetration gear, where the bestseller is an eight-inch PVC slip-on penis-extender. Grey is very familiar with both Goatse and Johnson, and he approaches them both with the practiced eye of the connoisseur.

"It's like a musician going to a symphony concert. They're going to hear things different than the average person," Grey, a middle-aged man who talks about jumbo butt plugs like they're models of lawnmowers, told me over the phone.

And Grey's discerning eye says Goatse and Johnson are the same person.

"If you've seen enough of his videos you can kind of recognize him pretty quickly. 'Oh, I know that butt!'" Grey said. "He's kind of a slender guy but he inserts these huge objects to an incredible depth. I admire his capabilities." Grey said he once emailed Johnson an offer of some free toys, but never heard back.

While I had Grey on the phone, I asked about the other big mystery of Goatse. Does this guy have to wear a diaper, or what? Grey must get asked this a lot. He patiently explained that extreme penetration is like any extreme sport. Injuries can and do occur, but only if you're reckless. He's never heard of even the most extreme penetrator ever requiring a diaper.

"The anus is a voluntary muscle," he said. "Our parents trained us to close them, you can train them to open. It takes time, it takes practice, it takes lots of lubricant. But you're actually training the muscle. You're improving the muscle tone by doing this."

Mystery solved.


Finding Goatse: The Mystery Man Behind the Most Disturbing Internet Meme in History


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